****just a note to any of my friends that are going to read this, this is meant to be funny. In typical Missie style. I love all of you and wouldn’t know what to do without you in my lives. You all make it exciting and some of you even make me seem less crazy. Love u guys. And, if you take any of this the wrong way, we probably weren’t meant to be friends anyway ♡♡♡♡♡****
I had a best friend once. For a long time. We were inseparable. You couldn’t say my name without hers or vice versa. My mom would call her phone looking for me. We did everything together. We were the most awesomest super friend duo ever. Then life happened. We kinda drifted apart and went our separate ways. I went the “I got knocked up” way and she went the ” Party in the City” kinda way. No literally. Partying. In. The. City. There is nothing I like about either of those words. City?! I’m a country girl. I want to see grass. And trees. And cows. And even smell their poop. Party?! We don’t party. We bonfire. And by party, I mean put on those fancy pants and high heels and go to some upscale bar with a bunch of dudes in suits drinking red wine and eating salads. . I’m more of the “I only own yoga pants ” kinda gal and are socks considered shoes?! And a good ole beer and a burger are more my style. As you can see, that relationship dwindled fast.
Since then, I have made some great friends. But none that were truly “the one”.
For the first few months of each new friendship, it feels like this could be it. Then you start to see how your lives just don’t fit together. It’s kinda like searching for the puzzle piece that is going to match with yours. Some come close and you try to overlook the fact that you aren’t a perfect match at all but it just doesn’t “fit”. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them or that you wouldn’t run up and jump on them and knock them over with a hug when you see them and genuinely care how they are doing. Or, maybe they are already “taken” so it could never truly work out anyway.
“BEST” friendship is literally almost impossible to find. For those of you who have found it, good for you (and can u let me know so I don’t try you out as my matching puzzle piece ok?! That helps me narrow down my list a little. K. Thanks). I swear the key has got to be lifestyle. The whole opposites attract thing just didn’t work for me. Take my word for it. I married him. Wrong way to go. So there is only one other way to go. Find similarities.
Do you know how hard it is to find someone with similar interests and lifestyle as me?! I’m friggin nuts. Again, I live in yoga pants people. Maybe it is a “being in my 30’s thing” and this is my midlife crisis. Nope. I’m going with quarter life crisis. Phew. I got a lot more life to live ( my plan is to see 100). But doesn’t anyone want to stay in yoga pants all day, love and cuddle cute animals, clip coupons, go to truck pulls and bonfires and stuff face with ooey gooey food? Oh, and be in bed by 9pm?? Is that really that hard to find?! I have tried a few different avenues.
Well, my kid does match most of that description. But she is a given. She has no choice but to be my best friend. She is stuck with me. We even have matching “best friend” bracelets to prove it. But, there are just some things you can’t do with your kids. Like I can’t crack open a nice cold raspberry Twisted Tea and plop on the couch and watch a rated R movie with her now can I?
Do you find that a lot of the time it is other people’s kids that get in the way?! And I can say that because I’m a mom and my own kid gets in my way of some of my friendships too. Sometimes your kids just don’t get along. Just because the adults get along doesn’t mean the kids will. Kids are allowed to not like to play with some kids. How about parenting skills? This has got to be a big one. How many times are you really going to threaten to take away the kids iPod at the dinner table and still never do it?? I on the other hand want to stand up and grab it out of their hands and throw it across the room. Hence the reason my child knows better than to bring her electronical devices to the dinner table. Or, how about when your kids are almost grown and you have befriended someone with babies. Babies are cute and all. I love babies. Who doesn’t?! But I’m kinda over smelly diapers, baby talk, spit up, and crying. Or toddler tantrums. Yup. I been there done that. Do I really want to go there again? Its cool for a minute. Like, a hot minute.
Then you have those single friends. You know the ones. You all have them. Who knew that a group of people could create so much drama. I mean seriously, How many of you actually want to be single again? I don’t know about you but i would rather be married and miserable than single. They either become your 3rd wheel or they try to put you in some crazy single situation thingy that you totally wouldn’t be ok with your husband going out and doing. Tough call. How many times can you really do that before your husband finds out?? Like. Come on.
Or those rich friends?! Oh god. Yup love them and all but they are totally complaining to the wrong person about being broke. Mmmmmk?? They don’t understand the struggle. At all. Like “I’m broke but we are going to Disneyland this year”! Really?! I’ve never been there in my LIFE God damnit. There can be no life experiences with them because you can’t afford to do anything they are doing so they don’t stay close friends for long.
The young ones. Oh what you would give to be in your 20’s again until you hang out with people in their 20’s. You have never been more happy to be in your 30’s. Need I say more?
Or how about those ones that you take a really long time and tread lightly trying not to blow it. You want to release your craziness slowly. It’s like a test to see how much of your crazy can they take? And so far so good. They actually like your crazy. And then after years of carefully crafting the perfect friendship and ready to take it to the next level, you find out they are lying, cheating, talk behind your back smile to your face kind of person. Yet another epic fail.
Or those friends you meet that have their own entourage. You click with one of them in the clique and at first she tries to manage spending time with you and her clique but it becomes too difficult to manage. And you totally know she is going to pick them over you. Not that you both don’t love each other but ultimately she has much more waiting for her back home.
Men. Let’s talk about men. First off, it probably isn’t the most appropriate thing to be making new friends with strange men. Probably not ok. But what do I know? I’m just the crazy ginger. It’s not like you don’t have some super close male friends already. I sure do. But there is only so much they can relate to talking tampons. Like how are they supposed to give me an honest opinion about what kind works best?
I had a best friend twice. I almost forgot about her. It was a bad break up. But she was it. Everything I dreamed of. She loved food. We could talk coupon. We were literally the same exact person. (everyone always asked us if we were sisters. I wonder which one people thought was younger. Hmmmm. I guess i’ll never know. I’m pretty sure it was me. Totally me. She is older than me anyway. So, ha! I won something!) We even shared a bottle of Coke that said “Soulmate” on it. That right there folks makes it totally legit. And then bad stuff happened. I don’t wanna talk about it. I’m still sad.
They say the 3rd time’s a charm. I had a best friend twice……..